This is Dexter Smith, and welcome to yet another (mostly) fact-filled episode of GPF Conspiracy Central.

According to statistics gathered over the years, it’s obvious that Mr. Physarum trails behind the other main cast members (with the exception of Persephone, who is merely a puppet to Mr. Physarum’s whims). Where others have shined in the spotlight, Mr. Physarum took a back seat. This came to a peak during the Surreptitious Machinations storyline. Jeff Darlington purposely wrote in Mr. Physarum’s “kidnapping” to divert attention away from his obvious greatness. Even when he returned late in the same storyline, his role was miniscule. Promises were made to Mr. Physarum that his role would be expanded in the fifth year of the comic. However, his first major appearance cast the actor in a negative role, forcing him to portray himself as thoughtless, careless, and even downright childish.

It was at this point that Mr. Physarum stated flatly to Jeff Darlington that he intended to leave the strip for good. The threat had its intended impact (which, in reality, had more to do with finding and paying for another actor than losing Mr. Physarum), influencing Jeff Darlington to transfer Mr. Physarum to a bigger role in the near future. Once Mr. Physarum was transferred to the studio of the GPF offices, he had his proverbial foot in the door.

Even though the amount of his appearances increased, this was not enough for Mr. Physarum. The other main cast members were still overshadowing him. One lucky accident off-stage gave Mr. Physarum a devious idea. Mr. Physarum accidentally spilled coffee one fateful morning into Trent Terrell’s lap. The ensuing argument ended in the studio security force separating the two and a lack of filming for the day. The explosive reaction Mr. Physarum witnessed seemed like the perfect way to propel himself into the upper ranks of the cast members.

After the dust of the previous encounter settled, Mr. Physarum approached Mr. Terrell with an offer he couldn’t refuse. They would stage their arguments, whether they were in the script or not. In return, the both of them would become more recognized characters and eventually essential to the completion of the comic strip. Once they obtained their places of power, they would be in a position to make demands of Jeff Darlington concerning the direction of the strip and their own status. The other cast members would still be present, but only as backup characters.

Over the course of a couple months, filming had almost been brought to a standstill. Scenes could not be completed without Mr. Physarum and Mr. Terrell interrupting. Jeff Darlington was soon fed up with their behavior, but saw the potential for an underlying storyline that would bring in characters that had not been used in a while (namely, Nicole Duncan). He began writing their arguments into the script, in the background at first. But halfway into the sixth year, Mr. Physarum and Mr. Terrell reached the first step in their goal – a single storyline devoted to their characters’ hatred of one another.

The question that remains on my mind is if both Mr. Physarum and Mr. Terrell will get away with this insidious plot. Only time, and my bribing the other cast members for in-depth information, will tell.