I'm Dexter Smith, and this is GPF Conspiracy Central.

Although one of the newer members of the GPF staff, systems administrator Sharon Murphy has a deep, dark secret she keeps nestled within the deep recesses of her twisted mind. If you are thinking of an affair with none other than Nick Wellington, you are sadly incorrect (but that would make for another great conspiracy). I, of course, am speaking of her criminal tendencies that are rapidly spinning out of control! It started small, viewing other staff member’s personal files and setting default save directories to /dev/null. Few noticed these telltale signs at first (I did, with my keen intellect and sharp eye), but she slowly stepped her activities forward, redirecting incoming e-mail for the GPF staff to a competing company and laughing maniacally when no one was looking. In fact, when she was not watching her purse at the Wacky Burger during her confrontation with Patricia Marshall, I was able to sneak a peak inside and was astonished to find a C.R.U.D.E. pre-membership card (pictured to the right).

Speaking of Marshall, Sharon (or “Big Red” as C.R.U.D.E. dubbed her) was only too happy to help Trish find her other self. Big Red supposedly used her finely honed hacking skills to obtain Trish’s double’s home address, but I find it unlikely that Big Red would be able to hack into a company startled by the loss of the head of their I.T. department only a few months before. Their firewall would have been strengthened after losing such a valuable member of their company. In fact, Trish’s double’s information was obtained directly from Big Red’s hard drive, proving that Big Red is working with Trish’s double and, thus, another agent for the mysterious Emperor “N”! By working for both Emperor “N” and C.R.U.D.E., Big Red will be able to coerce the two evil entities to clash, and, after one defeats the other, she will destroy the remaining, weakened evil establishment herself! With her empire secure, Big Red will proceed to dominate GPF, and, then, the cartoonist himself, forcing him to change the title of his comic to “Sharon Murphy – Smurf Overlord”! Once she has captured the former Faulties (redubbed "Smurfs") in her clutches, she will transform them into her personal army to take over the other webcomics on Keenspot, then Keenspace, and then the internet as we know it!

Be wary and keep a close eye on Big Red - her machinations may be our undoing!